1. Asking to set a tab up after last orders has been called.
2. Being told that Malibu is the good stuff and Koko Kanu is too cheap.
3. Screaming because there’s no JD.
4. Ordering a martini and telling us how to make them.
5. Ordering any drink and telling us how to make it.
6. Having to serve a walking Difford’s Guide.
7. Having to serve a TGI’s bartender.
8. Being rejected by the hot customer we just fell in love with.
9. Witnessing successful tinder dates.
10. Being told to smile.
11. Being told to smile or we don’t get a tip.
12. Being told to put our genitals away.
13. Getting vodka or lime juice in the tiny cuts on our fingers.
14. Being called a mixologist.
15. Being called a bartender.
16. Being called a barman.
17. Being called by our own names.
18. Being called.
19. When other bartenders don’t give us industry prices.
20. Having to give other bartenders industry prices.
21. Being questioned about our sexuality.
22. Being questioned about your sexuality.
23. Being questioned about your friend’s sexuality.
24. Finding out your friend’s sexuality first hand.
25. When they don’t make water hot enough and bleach is too dangerous.
26. Having ice left behind on the bar top.
27. Having to make you a new drink because you spilled it.
28. Having to make you a new drink because we spilled it.
29. Making lists of the things we hate.
30. Reading lists of the things we hate.
31. Being told what we hate.
32. Bartenders who don’t hate the same things we do.
33. Forgetting the point.
34. Forgetting how to make a vodka and coke.
35. Forgetting names.
36. Revolutions.
37. Living Ventures.
38. Tesco.
39. ASDA.
40. Amaretto Sours.
41. WKDs.
42. When customers breathe.
43. When customers talk.
44. When the barback doesn’t exist.
45. When the barback does exist.
46. Tuesdays.
47. Wednesdays.
48. Limes.
49. Lemons.
50. This.

Follow us: @CheapestShot